How I Cope: My Writing

With having very few friends before actually taking control of my life, I looked to food as my friend. Once I alleviated that from my life, and after losing my mother, I began to sketch and write almost daily. I just had something in me to get out. Years after my mom's passing, I have found artwork she had done and even poetry she wrote for my father, the first written exactly, to the date, 3 years before I was born. Odd? Not really? I write and sketch to keep her spirit alive. I also feel that I am like her a lot in the fact that I care a lot for others and put others before myself just like she had done.  In this post, I will share some of my favorite literary pieces that have kept me going. once again, no judgement. I just want to share. Not many people even know how much I have written or how much I enjoy the process.

The Only Way to Burn: 
Written After Our House Fire on November 15, 2014

Slowly climbing,
Shelf to shelf,
Flame by flame,
Clothes engulf.
Water can’t stop it,
There is no way,
It’s caught the wall,
Now to the attic it strays.
It engulfs the room,
And grows above the house,
Smoke filled,
Power’s out.
Father’s screaming,
Sister running,
Dogs are stuck,
Cat is hiding.
The family escapes,
With minor burns,
One dog makes it,
As they watch it burn.
Flames higher than the tallest tree,
Almost spreading to the next house,
Running and yelling,
To try and get them out.
Fire fighters arrive,
Check the surroundings,
Start breaking in,
To check the scene.
Electrically started,
The house is gone,
Burned, back roof,
With a whole side being gone.
The hose and water,
Start filling the frame,
Dripping through the sides,
Like it’s crying with pain.
The youngest daughter heard a crack,
The others didn’t hear it,
But that’s what happened.
The father’s face had secondary burns,
From trying to stop the fire,
Before it got worse.
The oldest daughter,
Got first degree going back in,
To make sure they got out safely.
This family lost their home,
But they have each other,
And that’s enough,
To start all over
How do I know of this tragedy?
This happened to me and my family,
At 2:30 in the morning.

Kristen LeBlanc

Someone I Never Got to Know: 
Written for My Grandfather, Basile Macera

You met me,

When you were 62.

Now I’m 23,

Saying good bye to you.

I regret,

Not getting to know,

The man,

Whose story became my own.

He married a woman,

Who loved him dearly,

Who gave birth to three children,

Katherine, Tony, and Cindy.

Katherine was my mom,

Someone else I didn’t get to know,

Who died with me by her side,

And was only 44 years old.

With life,

Comes death,

And by dying,

There is new life.

My only reason now,

For crying,

Is not getting to know my loved ones,

Before they said good bye.

Spending time with family,

Just isn’t the same,

As listening to tall tales,

Or something they say.

We meet up,

We talk and eat,

We hug and kiss,

Then leave.

We are wasting time,

Trying to get life to go by faster,

Missing out on what is right in front of us,

Instead of what’s long after.

I regret,

Never experiencing,

The knowledge he had,

Or the lessons she could give.

We have,

But one life to live,

Think before you decide to act,

Because this is it.

Kristen LeBlanc

More Than You: 
Written for My Boyfriend on Our 1 Year Anniversary 

To find someone,

Who doesn't care,

How you look,

Or what you wear.

They love you,

Every flaw,

You're the most beautiful,

Girl they've ever saw.

You may not think,

You're perfect,

But to them,

You're more than worth it.

A year has gone by,

And it seems like,

That just yesterday,

We said hi.

The connection between us,

Has done nothing,

But evolve,

Into a love so strong,

That others can't help,

But just watch.

They say we're a cute couple,

Even adorable,

But I say,

We're just inseparable.

We hate to stay,

Too far away,

From each other,

For too long,

But with every day,

We learn more.

A year seems like a while,

But to me,

It's just time,

Because we're happy as can be,

As you'll find.

Love has no favorites,

It doesn't know black or white,

So for my Boosky and I,

It's just right.

Kristen LeBlanc

Time Will Tell: 
Written After My Grandfather, Walter LeBlanc, Passed Away

There's only one who knows,

What will happen,

When a new day has begun,

And our eyes see the sun,

As it rises in the morning,

And sets at days end...

It's warmth lets us all know,

We're never,

Alone...

We don't need to travel,

To find a place,

To call home...

I reach up,

Towards the sky,

Waiting for a reply,

But realize you're busy,

Taking care of the world,

And I can only imagine, 

All you've seen and heard...

I'm patiently waiting,

To get my time with you,

Time to ask my questions...

I always ask but you answer,

One thing is always clear,

Time will tell...

Will tell me what to do...

Days seem to linger on,

When I sit waiting,

To feel you around,

Your presence welcomed,

Anytime and anywhere...

I'm never fearing,

What you have to say,

Just afraid of how to explain,

Everything I think,

And feel to be true...

There is but one thing,

That will never change,

And that is,

My faith in you...

I gaze up,

And just wonder what it's like,

To stand by your side,

Holding your hand,

As I try not to cry...

I can only imagine,

All you've thought and done...

I'm taking my turn,

To ask away,

To feel complete and free...

You comfort me,

Quietly saying,

Time will tell,

Time will make it all easy...

I let it all go,

And not hold back,

Anything I feel,

But just show,

The world that,

Nothing is hopeless,

But there is always,

A place in heaven,

To call our own...

A place that will one day be,

Our final home...

I raise up my heart,

In honor of all you've done,

For all of us and slowly see,

A rainbow run across the shy,

As the sun shines brightly,

Showing all its colors,

In full force...

Smiling from ear to ear,

I sing my soul's song,

Then collapse in prayer,

Still listening to your words...

Time will tell,

Me what is next on my journey,

Of getting closer to you.

Kristen LeBlanc

My first ever poetic piece was written right after my mom passed away back in 2006. I do not have it typed out but it was published in a book. Once I find the book that is among some of the items that made it through the fire, I will add it under the last piece above. God bless you all for taking the time to read my work. It means so much to me. 

How I Cope: Artistically

Most people do not know me as much more than an old high school friend or a math tutor from where I work. Some even know me as the crazy gym rat. There are other things that I enjoy doing besides what people expect from me.  Artwork being one of them.

After my mom passed away, drawing was the first thing that I did to cope with missing her.  I spent a lot of my time trying to keep myself occupied to forget about losing her.  

The picture of the angel on the right was done graphically in one of my Graphic design classes that I took in college while earning my Associates. We were only given the face to work with, which was half of a metal mask.  This is what I saw from it and how I decided to render it. 

The painting above is actually a water color piece that I rendered using a photo I had taken as a reference.  It was a step by step process as seen from photo to photo. I did my lights and slowly got to my darker shades.  

I do not have just one medium that I do but I do have a favorite that I enjoy. Stippling, or as some call it, pointilism, is the use of dots to create a picture.  The picture above of my bf's and I's hands are done totally in ink dots.  It may take a while to complete but it truly is worth it. 


These are but a few of my pieces.  I sadly lost all of these in the house fire my family had, even the graphic piece.  The flash drive it was on melted.  I am currently trying to redo some pieces and make some new ones as well. Years and years of work is gone.  Yeah you can say it is material items, but, it was hard work and items that meant a lot to me. I will eventually have more, better pieces but I do miss the older ones..

Venturing From The Expected Norm

When people think about exercise, most just think about women on cardio machines and men hanging by the weights.  The stereotype gets placed on the two different genders to be a certain way.  When someone ventures from the norm, people tend to judge. They also tend to question why someone would do something besides what society seems to have placed on their sex.  You have female weight lifters, female body builders and men who are competitive when it comes to triathlons or marathons.  So, to say that something is meant only for one person is just absurd. You have no idea what the other person's goals are or what they hope to accomplish.  You only know what you are working towards and place your opinions on how others should be.  That's where the world is wrong....

If someone were to look at me, just as an example, and you had never met me before, you might consider me crazy.  I'm not a woman to like or enjoy cardio.  I even find it rather boring but we all need to do cardio to help our heart stay strong.  I enjoy strength training much more and consider myself a weight lifter.  I do not wish to compete or challenge anyone besides myself. After losing over 200 pounds then gaining about 40 back due to weight training, I now have been working even harder to tighten up the loose skin I have.  

I have made several friends just from working hard on my goals.  People approach me, asking me, how much weight have I lost since joining Planet Fitness. When I say no, i sometimes even have people fighting me until I explain my overall situation and then I flex for them.  They are amazed and congratulate me all the time. I do not need to be congratulated.  I need to be understood and supported.  I'd do the same for anyone who'd want me to help them out.  I can't make someone understand why I do what I do or what I choose to do because I am the only one who knows what I want for myself out of life.  

I have had some weird experiences at the gyms I've gone to but the ones at Planet Fitness have topped my list. I think I will continue that with another post: Getting Past the "Compliments" and Opinionated "Comments".